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July 30, 2001
I was reading the paper and wouldn't you know it, an article about flaming Pop-Tarts! This has got to be entered into the "Some People Should Not Be Allowed To Use Toasters" department. Leave it up to a couple in Gloucester County, New Jersey to sue Kellogg over their stupidity. If this does not get thrown out of court, then we as a civilization do not have long to live.
Brenda Hurff put a Pop-Tart into a toaster and then took her children to school. WAIT, Brenda, you idiot. Don't leave food cooking unattended! But, alas, she came home to a burning house and her neighborhood fire fighters. Now, a year later, the Hurff's are suing Kellogg, the makers of those tasty treats.
Brenda, you don't need money for damages, you need money to see a good doctor for a brain replacement. What made you think that you can wander off when you had food in a toaster. Didn't your mother teach you how dangerous a toaster really is? Common sense dictates that you do not leave a toaster on unattended. You must be stupid to think that a Pop-Tart would take so long to cook in the first place. Maybe you should read the packaging some time as there is a warning regarding unattended toasting.
Black & Decker is also on the law suit chopping block. They made the toaster! Oh, man. I would not want this family to purchase any goods that I may manufacture. They will sue me! Who knows, they may even sue me for writing this little article.
To the Hurff's, what were you thinking then, and what are you thinking now? I wish I was on that jury, but then again, maybe I would laugh myself into contempt.
BE
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