Elian's Plight
Part II
The story continues as the world grows anxious about what will happen with the little boy from Havana.....
Elian: Oooooooooh. Daddy, I’ve never seen a house so big.
DAD: Yes, my son. It is almost as big as our country, which is our home.
Elian: Wow! Can we take it with us?
Dad: Naw, too clean, too white, too American.
Miami Relatives: Please hear our case. Keep him here. His mother knew best.
Court: How many times do we have to hear this?
Dad: I don’t know. I’m his father, not them.
Relatives: His mother was doing what was right. Give him to us.
Dad: To corrupt him?!
Relatives: Yes! I mean, uh, no! He’ll be free here!
Dad: What, with media attention, parades, forced public speaking engagements?
Relatives: Yes! America! Cuban-Americans! We’ll rule the world some day!
Court: Damn, both sides are into themselves. We are too scatterbrained to decide. We are not going to change our minds. We are too well paid, well fed, and confused. We need a drink and a night on the town with Billy.
Over the next month it’s one appeal after another…..
Relatives: Hear us! We are the right place. We have a neighborhood that looks and smells like Cuba! We have cigars! Tequila! Yum!
Court: Our heads hurt. Let’s take this up tomorrow.
Next Day:
Relatives: Hear us! We are the right place. We have a neighborhood that looks and smells like Cuba! We are decent people. We have cigars!
Courts: Did they say something new? Oh, man. That pain!
A Week Later!
Relatives: Hear us! We are the right place. We have a neighborhood that looks and smells like Cuba! We are decent people. We wash our clothes at least once a week! We have cigars!
Court: What? Huh? What does washing clothes have to do with this? We may need to consult on this.
Another Week!
Court: No, we cannot make up our minds. We will not decide. We will not hear anymore. We think Elian must go back, but we cannot really say that because we are afraid to.
Dad: He’s my son. I’m taking him home.
Relatives: No! We are better.
The DECISION!
Relatives: We appeal to you, oh mighty Supreme Court of the US. You like citizens. We are citizens. We will take great care of Elian.
Dad: I’m his father. You know, dad. A boy needs to be with immediate family.
Relatives: We are immediate family. We took care of him for months. Where were you?
Dad: I’ve taken care of him for years. My Ex stole him. Took him here.
Supreme Court: Why don’t all of you shut up! Why are you people so dense? Both sides have valid arguments, but this is not a case for the Supreme Court of the US. There are no constitutional issues. The boy is an ILLEGAL! We will not hear this case!
Relatives: Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
Dad: Ah, yes. The sweat smell of victory. Elian will make a great future leader of Cuba!
Next Day in Havana
Elian: Wow, what a plane ride. They have some great things in the United States.
Dad: But this is a better life. Simple. We live longer with less stress.
Castro: Whaaaaazzzuuuuup!
Dad: Whaaaazzzup!
Elain: Whaaaazuuup!
Some Unknown: WAAAAASAAAABIIIII!
The end.
